Relatives Ghost Us. Change of Plans.

Nov. 26th, 2025 09:48 pm
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Thanksgiving triplog #10
Manassas, VA · Tue, 25 Nov 2025. 9am.

Our plan for this Thanksgiving week trip, like the past several years, was to spend the first half of the week visiting my relatives plus some of Hawk's friends in the Washington, DC suburbs then spend the second half of the week with her parents in Pennsylvania. It has been tough trying to make plans to visit 3 of my nieces. We've been trying to arrange dates and times to visit since September. They've ghosted most of our contact attempts. One finally offered a non-committal idea then said (basically) "Sorry, something came up" in pulling back from it. Well, we've been here in the area for 3 days now with no further answers, despite us reaching out, gently, once a day. We're done trying.

Our plan was to stay here through tomorrow, then drive up to Pennsylvania on Wednesday. We figured we could leave early or late depending on Wednesday plans. But at this point we couldn't even line up Tuesday plans. So this morning we called  an audible. We'lre packing our bags now to leave a day early. We'll run one quick errand in town then hit the road to Pennsylvania. Hawk's parents are already really happy they'll get to see us a day early.

It's a sad extension of how I've already limited time visiting my own family the past two years. Now it pertains to more of my extended family. They're too busy living their lives to make time to see me when I try to visit. So after a reasonable try I move on. At least I have somewhere to go where people are excited to see me. It's bittersweet it's my inlaws instead of my own family.

Obligatory where to get my stuff post

Nov. 26th, 2025 04:39 pm
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[personal profile] rimrunner
I’ve got a Publications page, but some of the books there are out of print, and I don’t expect people to shell out for single issues of a magazine just because I’ve got a story in it. But the holiday shopping season has started disturbingly early this year, so here’s me getting in on it. Here’s where to get books that I have stories in, including the just-released Shakespeare Adjacent anthology:

Shakespeare Adjacent, an anthology of Shakespeare homages from 2 Jokers Publishing. My story, “Bitter Waters; or, the Villain’s Appointment” (that link goes to an opening excerpt) sets Much Ado About Nothing in a future Columbia Gorge (further) altered by climate change.

Two Hour Transport 2, an anthology of short fiction by writers associated with the SFF reading series of the same name–including me, as well as Nisi Shawl, Karen Joy Fowler, Eileen Gunn, and many other writers I’m delighted to share a TOC with. My story, “Song of the Water People,” is told from the point of view of a pod of Southern Resident Killer Whales who live in the Salish Sea.

From Bayou to Abyss: Examining John Constantine, Hellblazer is a collection of articles about everyone’s favorite morally gray magician. I had great fun researching real-world occult antecedents for the stuff we see John (and others) do in the comic, though real-world occultists would (justifiably) say that I just scratched the surface. Hey, I had a word count. Lots of other fun essays in here too.

Retellings of the Inland Seas, an anthology of short fiction placing Ancient Greek stories, myths, and legends in speculative settings. My story, “The Sea of Stars,” examines how sailors of the 5th century BCE might deal with a communication that seems to come from the gods.

Future Games, an anthology of short fiction on the themes of gaming and sport. My story “Kip, Running,” which originally appeared in the webzine Strange Horizons, is included, along with stories by Cory Doctorow, George R.R. Martin, and Kate Wilhelm.

Share and enjoy!
canyonwalker: A toast with 2 glasses of beer. Cheers! (beer tasting)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
Thanksgiving triplog #9
Manassas, VA · Mon, 24 Nov 2025. 10pm.

The week of eating our way through our family and friends continues! But whereas Hawk came up with that line out of frustration that so much of this Thanksgiving week is about eating, I embrace it. And not because I'm looking for an excuse to over-eat repeatedly but because I accept that an enjoyable meal is a great setting around which to gather and meet friends and relatives. Tonight's gathering, after a different one at lunch earlier today, was with my cousin Matt, aka The Talking Moose, and his wife, Sally.

Among all my cousins Matt is one of the few I was close to as a child and have remained close to as an adult. ...Of course, "close to" is a relative term as when we were kids we only saw each other once or twice a year. And now that we're adults we see each other... once or twice a year. 😅 But I always felt we were close in the sense that we're close in age and share similar intelligence, interests, and curiosity about the world.

We met for dinner this evening at the South Riding Inn. It's a pub with an extensive menu in South Riding, Virginia. As I quipped earlier today, I grew up not that far from here and had never heard of South Riding until maybe a year ago. A quick check of Wikipedia tells me why.... South Riding is a place-name made up by a developer in 1995. So, yeah, it literally didn't exist when I was growing up around here. It's a few miles outside of Chantilly, which was already considered the last suburb before the suburbs gave way to farms back then. And now, of course, it's a burgeoning suburb itself with a population of probably over 35,000.

Dinner was good. I mean, dinner— the food— was adequate. The company was excellent. With Matt and Sally we enjoyed a rollicking good discussion about life, work, family, politics, and places we've traveled. Maybe at some point we'll be able to do this more than once a year. 🤣


Kids Afraid to Want

Nov. 26th, 2025 07:34 am
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[personal profile] canyonwalker
Thanksgiving triplog #8
Manassas, VA · Mon, 24 Nov 2025. 3:30pm.

We're back at the hotel now, between episodes of eating our way through friends and family. Earlier today we met old friends for lunch in Arlington; this evening we'll meet one of my cousins and his wife for dinner in South Riding. South Riding is a place-name I never knew existed, and I grew up not far from here! But more on that later.

My sister said something yesterday that bothers me. It's about her kids. During our pleasant day together full of verbal repartee I teased her gently about how difficult it was for us to buy graduation gifts for her older two kids.

One of them we'd asked several times what he wanted for a graduation gift without getting a response. We could've just bought him something but didn't want to risk (a) duplicating a gift from someone else or (b) buying him something expensive he didn't actually like or want. And (c) we didn't want to give a gift as impersonal as "Here's a wad of cash".

Ultimately, 9 months later, he responded to us and asked for a new phone. It was clear from his asking that his mother had put him up to it. That's what I was teasing C. about— "When P. asked us for that phone, it's because he complained to you that his phone broke and you told him to soak his rich uncle and aunt for a new one, right?"

This wasn't just teasing C. about her kids, though. The topic of graduation gfits is topical because one of P's younger brothers, J., will be graduating in 6-7 months. And given how long it took to get an answer from P., we figured we'd better start asking J. now. Including asking his mom what he needs. 🤨

"My kids are reluctant to ask for things," she explained. She hypothesized that it comes from when the family was struggling harder and material goods were in short supply. Oh, the kids always had a roof over their head, and adequate food, and two pairs of shoes without holes, she assured me. But they learned the answer to "Can we have?" other things was No. So the kids stopped asking.

I recognize part of the dynamic. I was raised in similar conditions. Money was tight, and while we always had a roof over our heads— though at least once my parents came close to not being able to pay the mortgage—and food on the table, other things were luxuries. Including shoes. While C is happy her kids always had two good pairs of shoes, one sneakers and one dress-up for going to church, I usually only had one pair. And half the time they had holes.

Where it gets worse (sadder) with C's kids, though, is that they've internalized guilt over wanting better things. While I never accepted that holey sneakers are all I deserved in life, or that it was wrong to want sneakers without holes, that's what C's kids are seeming to do. She gave the example of how one of them said he didn't want braces because they'd be too expensive for Mom and Dad to afford. It's great that young kids are learning about making tradeoffs in life, but accepting crooked teeth because you think braces— like every other kid in school gets— is too much to ask for is sad.

Again, I recognize part of the dynamic here. I recognize it because I lived it. And because I lived it I'm pretty sure those kids came up with this internalized guilt all on their own.

My father tried to instill guilt in me by telling me I was greedy. I was greedy for wanting nice gifts for my birthday. I was greedy for wanting a second pair of shoes— without holes. I was greedy for wanting a bigger slice of pizza at dinner. I was greedy even for asking that we get pizza when Dad asked the family, "Where should we go out for dinner tonight?" The proper thing to do, according to my dad, would've been to keep quiet until everyone else stated an opinion, and only then ask for what I want.

The difference was, that bullshit guilt trip only half worked on me. I mean, I never did stop believing I should ask for what I want. I did internalize some guilt around it, though. Even into my 40s there were times I felt bad about saying, "I would like XYZ for dinner" because I feared— through internalized guilt— that expressing my want was wrong because other people want things, too, and somehow when multiple people want things my wants are wrong. 🙄

Well, we didn't come to an answer for what J. might like for his graduation next year.

Or maybe it'll be paying his parents back for his braces. 🙁

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My story “Bitter Waters; or, the Villain’s Appointment” is out now as part of the Shakespeare Adjacent anthology from 2 Jokers Publishing!

If you backed the Kickstarter, first of all, THANK YOU. Secondly, rewards are being disbursed–see the publisher’s updates on KS for details there.

And, you can order a printed or digital copy of the book, here! Happy reading!

Relation and reciprocity

Nov. 25th, 2025 10:37 pm
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I was going to get this up yesterday, hence the category, but didn’t finish it until today. Yesterday wound up being super busy, including onboarding for one of those contractor gigs where you have to set up accounts on several different platforms in order to work. It’s a setup that both makes me feel old, and reminds me of my library days when we had four different systems crosswalking just to accurately convey our journal holdings to patrons.

I was also finishing up reading Robert Moor’s new book In Trees, in order to review it for Library Journal. Like a lot of nature-oriented books I’ve read recently, Moor comes in heavy on themes of relationality and reciprocity. These aren’t novel, exactly, but I’ve noticed them getting more emphasis ever since Robin Wall Kimmerer’s excellent and affecting Braiding Sweetgrass, which many of these books (Moor’s included) cite as an influence.

It influenced me as well, both when I first read it and during the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic, when I managed to escape the stuck-at-home-staring-at-screens phenomenon by taking off for nine months to Wilderness Awareness School. Constant masking and daily temperature checks notwithstanding, it was still a better way to spend those nine months than just about anything else I could imagine. I got to be with people. And trees.

It was an immense privilege, and it shouldn’t be. As people in the Immersion program itself pointed out, having to actively seek nature connection, as though we aren’t all connected to nature all of the time whether or not we’re aware of it, is indicative of a problem, one that has deeply pragmatic and material effects. I do happen to believe that sitting under a tree once in awhile or just noticing the birds outside the window are Good for us as humans, but as I’ve written before, not doing these things makes it so much easier not to notice that we’re driving the world off a cliff. The planet has survived mass extinctions before, but there’s a reason why some writers describe our current situation as the Sixth Extinction. And if we keep going like we have been, we’re going to kill off the species that make our own existences possible. Humans are the most adaptable creatures to ever live on Earth—I feel pretty confident saying that, despite the length of time life has existed on this planet. But whether we can adapt to the circumstances we ourselves are now creating is an open question.

And even if we could, the situation still sucks. I think people know it, too; it’s one reason fake AI stories about wild animals doing charming things are so popular on social media, to my everlasting consternation. My theory goes something like this: so many of us humans are so disconnected from the world in which we live that we view it as fundamentally unknowable outside the narrow slice that we understand. This makes us uncomfortable, so we gravitate toward relatable stories that present realities we find intuitively comprehensible. (This is also why fake news is both so seductive and so prevalent.) But precisely because of that disconnection, we aren’t equipped to recognize the unreality when we encounter it, and the people spreading it have a vested interest in not describing it as fiction.

Kimmerer talks a lot about reciprocity in Braiding Sweetgrass and in her more recent book, The Serviceberry. In its most fundamental and accessible form, this is the simple act of recognition of the necessary give and take within which each of us exists. We live, so we gotta eat. Sooner or later, other things will eat us. From this everything else flows. We exist and participate in a web of relationships whether we know it or not; this is as observable as the raccoons raiding our trash cans. Taking the time to make those observations begins for many of us as a conscious act, but the more you do it, the more habitual it becomes, the more you notice, and the more those connections become a thing that you’re aware of.

It’s a simple, small thing, but it changes so much. Among other things, it rejects the framing of human and planetary survival as a matter of completely abandoning modern ways of life. (Good luck getting people to do that, anyway.) Even people living in places so remote that calling them off grid is to understate the case have cell phones.

The hard part is getting this to happen on a big enough scale to make an actual difference, and creating space for people to do the things that will effect change. One of the first things you notice once you start seeing existence this way is how much capitalism in its current form makes everything into a state of emergency. What better way to ensure that no one has time to even notice what’s wrong, never mind do anything about it? Back in the late 1990s a book came out called Simple Things Won’t Save the Earth. That title was a response to the idea that individual consumer choices would make even the smallest dent in responding to the actual emergency then and now in progress.

So why would such a simple, small thing as a change in perception be any different?

I don’t really know, to be honest. It’s something I’ve been mulling over for at least five years, now, and probably longer.

But I do think it’s necessary, and inevitable. I’m just hoping it happens at a significant enough scale, before it really is too late.

Lunch with Darkfriends

Nov. 25th, 2025 08:27 pm
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Thanksgiving triplog #7
Arlington, VA · Mon, 24 Nov 2025. 1:30pm.

Hawk and I continued eating our way through our friends and family this afternoon. We met a pair of old friends, [personal profile] scifantasy and [personal profile] jsbowden, for lunch in Arlington, VA. And no, it wasn't "3 blocks from the Clarendon Metro station" (old in-joke). Actually it was a few blocks from the Ballston metro stop. 😅

These are friends we've had for... upwards of 30 years... on social media. "30 years?" you might ask. "That's 1995!" Facebook only started in 2004 (and didn't really become a dominant platform until 2008). Twitter started in 2006. Even MySpace was only founded in 2003. 🤣 But yes, we were doing social media in the 1990s. It was different then. It was... *gasp*... text based.

Anyway, it was good to see these friends again in 3D. Or, in the case of [personal profile] jsbowden, I think this is the first time we've ever met in person. 🤯

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Thanksgiving triplog #6
Manassas, VA · Mon, 24 Nov 2025. 8am.

A few times already this trip Hawk has grumbled that "It's all about eating." A few times already— and we've only been here two days!

It's true that a lot of our plans this trip are plans around food. But that's a natural byproduct of a trip that's a lot of social calls. It's natural to propose, "Let's get together for lunch/dinner," like we did twice with different friends on Saturday, or when we're visiting relatives for the day, like on Sunday, start by suggesting, "How about we go out for lunch together?"

Then there's the fact we built this trip around Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is all about food. But Thanksgiving is also about togetherness. You don't have to stuff your face just because you're enjoying the company. Though when the company is good and the food is good, sometimes that happens naturally. 😅

A Day with Family. Finding the Pace.

Nov. 24th, 2025 01:11 pm
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Thanksgiving triplog #5
Manassas, VA · Sun, 23 Nov 2025. 11pm.

Today we visited my family in suburban Virginia outside of Washington, DC. Well, we visited part of my family. We visited my youngest sister, C., and my mom, who lives with her. And even there we only saw part of C's family as her husband and two of their kids are out of town at an academic convention and their oldest is at college and not arriving home for Thanksgiving break until late Tuesday night.

Past visits with my family have been... frustrating. C and her kids are a whirlwind of activity, and they've never paused any of that activity to see us when we visit. It's frustrating we visit once a year from 2,500 miles away it feels like they make no time for us. And it's not even like we're asking to be house guests. We have always stayed in a hotel and rented a car and simply tried to plan which days/times we can see them at their house.

Last year I made peace with this and settled on a short visit. I'd see them for just one day and whoever wasn't there, wasn't there.

I did the same again this year. Thus I only saw my mom, my sister C, and half of her family. I would've like to to see my brother-in-law and my other three nephews, too, but instead of feeling disappointed about who was too busy living their lives I focused on enjoying my time with those who were there.

With expectations set appropriately Hawk and I had a great time. We spent the day with my sister and mom. Two of her kids were in and out with fretting about homework and other stuff. For example, one happily joined us in going out for lunch, but the other preferred to stay home to work on his paper for government class (he's a HS senior). But really, what kind of 17yo is like, "I don't want to see my uncle and aunt who visit just once a year and I also don't want pizza for lunch"? When we were able to catch them standing still— and not hiding in their rooms— I was able to engage them in conversation about what they're working on now and what they're looking forward to next. I even got the shy HS senior to talk about which college he's applied to is his #1 choice— his mom interrupted, "That's news to me!"— and what degree he expects to pursue if he goes there.

It wound up being a surprisingly late evening as we stayed until just after 10. I thought things might fizzle out a few hours earlier than that, either because they were all busy or because we'd be tired. But after having such a tiring day yesterday (so tiring that I slept in a car in a parking lot in the middle of the day) I'd gotten good sleep last night to feel 100% today. Plus we were all having such a good time with a rollicking conversation and lots of verbal repartee Alas, I did get up at 6:15am this morning, so by 10pm I was feeling we should leave so I could drive back to the hotel safely. We called it an evening and left on a high note.

canyonwalker: Cheers! (wine tasting)
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Thanksgiving triplog #4
Manassas, VA · Sat, 22 Nov 2025. 9:15pm.

It's been a busy day today. We arrived early this morning on a red-eye flight having gotten maybe one hour of sleep, ate breakfast in a convenience store parking lot, and met friends for lunch and took a nap in a thrift store parking lot. And that was all before 3pm. Since then we've driven 45 minutes to another city, met more friends, had another meal with them, and then driven another 45 minutes around the metro area to where we've checked into our hotel for the next 4 nights.

Our dinner hosts this evening were Joe and Adriane, another pair of Hawk's friends from college. It's great that she has close friends she's kept in touch with. I've lost touch with all of mine. We met them at their house in Silver Spring, Maryland, where we've visited a number of times before. In fact the last time we saw them was pretty much this same day last year. ...Not the same numerical date but precisely "the Saturday before Thanksgiving".

Last year we went out to dinner at a nearby pub with Joe and Adriane, where I imagined my father may literally have drank beer with his college chums in the 1960s. But this year there was no pub-going. For one, Hawk didn't like their food. For another, I was still feeling fazed from a nearly sleepless night and didn't want to risk the sleepiness caused by even one drink of alcohol. So we ordered in Italian food and pizza and I passed even on the beer and liquor they offered me in the house. Me playing it safe turned out to be important because it allowed to spend several hours with them, chatting amiably in their living room, and still drive another 45 minutes on to our hotel for the night.

Now we're at our hotel for the night— tonight and the next 3 nights, too— in Manassas, Virginia, in the suburbs well west of Washington, D.C. What's in Manassas? you might ask unless you're from the area or are a Civil War buff. Well, for us, there's really nothing in Manassas. Like where we stayed on our pre-Thanksgiving trip last year it's a hotel location we picked because it's centrally located between places we planned to visit in the next few days. Though with a bunch of my relatives ghosting our texts and/or saying, "Sorry, something came up" I'm not sure how many of those plans will materialize into actual visits.

Anyway, it's late now, Or, rather, it feels late. It's 9:15pm and I am crashing, hard. The weight of last night's red-eye is really hitting me now. The parking lot nap I took this afternoon recharged me just enough to make it through dinner. But now my battery indicator is blinking "2%". Time to get to bed.

canyonwalker: Uh-oh, physics (Wile E. Coyote)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
Thanksgiving triplog #3
Millersville, MD · Sat, 22 Nov 2025. 3pm.

At the moment I'm sitting in my rental car, parked in front of a Goodwill store, and I've just woken up from a nap. 😳 Yeah, it's been a rough day so far after coming off of a red-eye flight this morning.

From where we ate breakfast in a Wawa parking lot this morning we drove 10-15 minutes east to visit our friends Christie and John. Christie is a friend of Hawk's from college. She and John married in 2012. I think the last time I saw either of them was at their wedding 13½ years ago. 😳 But it was great to see them again. And they welcomed us into their house at 8am, which fit well with our post-red-eye schedule.

We chatted amiably at their dining room table for a few hours. For Hawk some of it was reminiscing on old times at college— but fortunately not too much of that, as that was mostly before my time and entirely before John's. Mostly we chatted about life in general, the current state of the country, and the joys and tribulation of buying a house— since they'd just bought theirs earlier this year. They've both lost significant weight recently, and they look great. Their son joined us for part of the conversation after he woke up. He's in 5th grade, so about 11 years old.

We went out for lunch together at a local sushi restaurant. Well, "we" minus Christie and John's son. He stayed home because he hates sushi. And yes, he's old enough to stay home by himself. Christie and John both work in local government, Christie in law enforcement, so they've checked the laws on leaving a child unsupervised at home. The law says that's okay at age 10. That surprised me because the way most parents I know nowadays act, you'd think it's a crime to leave a child home alone until age 18. Yay for parents who teach their kids age-appropriate independence and maintain even a sliver of time separate from parenting 24/7.

Ah, but here I am talking about good parenting after Hawk and I have just slept in our car a thrift store parking lot. 🤣 Lack of sleep was hitting me hard after lunch. I got just 1 hour last night on the red-eye flight. Hawk wanted to visit the thrift store across the street from the restaurant. "And you can take a nap there," she added.

It sounded kind of ridiculous when she said it... if for no other reason than because napping in a car has virtually never worked for me. But I was extremely tired. I knew I at least needed to try, because I was fading so hard that driving more than a few miles would be dangerous. So after she went into the store, I leaned my seat back, wrapped my sweater over my torso like a blanket, and... dozed off within 5 minutes. 😴

Sometime during my nap Hawk came back out of the store and joined me. We slept together— in separate seats but both in the car in the Goodwill store's parking lot, I mean— until 3. And now we're waking up and stretching and getting ready to drive to visit another set of friends for the evening.

canyonwalker: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Travel! (planes trains and automobiles)
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Thanksgiving triplog #2
Hanover, MD · Sat, 22 Nov 2025. 7:15am.

Our red-eye flight from San Francisco last night was tough. We were late leaving, which I didn't exactly mind— no risk of missing connections— except for the fact it meant more time sitting in an uncomfortable seat. We even had seats in Southwest's not-yet-launched preferred seating section. They're normal seats but with maybe 2" of extra leg room. The extra leg room was nice but the real problem is that the seats are too short. There's not enough seat to them.

I was confident about this red-eye flight after our last one, a red-eye flight to Toronto in August, went well. Ah, but on that flight we had first class seats on United. This time we were on Southwest, with its too-short seat bottoms. I know from lots of experience those make me squirmy within just 2 hours. I shouldn't have been so sanguine about committing to one for 5.5 hours. The uncomfortable seat meant I couldn't fall asleep for several hours. And then I slept for maybe 1 hour.

Things flowed smoothly at BWI airport upon arrival. Hawk and I got off the plane just before 6:00am. I shambled toward the nearest bathroom to use the toilet and splash some water on my face. We weren't in a rush, but we were happy that the shuttle bus to the rental car depot departed just after we boarded. Standing around while blinking the sleep out of your eyes is one thing, standing around waiting on someone else is different.

The bus rolled through the pre-dawn darkness at 6:20am. Shouldn't the sky be getting light by now? I wondered. Alas sunrise wouldn't be until 7:00, and with the clouds and drizzling rain it might be hard to notice.

There were no lines at car rental. Yay. Of course there were also almost no people at car rental. But a helpful staffer in the garage pointed us where to go to pick a car. We could take any from our category. We looked at a few and chose a Mazda CX-5. It's similar to the Mazda CX-50 we rented on our trip in Georgia back in April. Our good experience with that car is why we picked this one. If nothing else it has heated seats, which are a big help for Hawk on any trip and a help for me on longer drives.

Which brings me to where we are right now. We're parked in front of a Wawa convenience store. Once clear of the airport we headed straight for breakfast... and for us, for breakfast, a good convenience store is better than just about anything. Wawa, a chain that's been a fixture in the Baltimore area for decades already (even though it started nearly Philadelphia), offers decent fresh food from its short-order kitchen and has a great selection of drinks.

Now here sit eating breakfast in the front seats of our car. Dawn has finally broken around us, though it's hard to tell. The sky went from dark to... mostly-dark... while it continues to drizzle. We'll chill here another 30 minutes or so while waiting for a reasonable time to visit one of Hawk's college friends later this morning.

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Like a lot of people I suspect, I read E.B. White's children's novels as a kid--Charlotte's Web, Stuart Little, Trumpet of the Swan--and never quite made the transition to his other writing. When the current administration has the immense bad taste to name one of its immigration crackdowns "Operation Charlotte's Web," it's worth highlighting that White was a staunch antifascist.

I worked as an academic librarian for 18 years; I've long known that libraries are always being asked to do more with less, while having their remits so far stretched that it regularly stuns me when I meet someone who still thinks that all they do is lend books. Public libraries in particular have increasingly been expected to serve as the final catch in an ever-fraying social safety net. But Sharon Mattern's Extralibrary Loan demonstrates the many creative and forward-thinking ways that libraries are hewing to their original purpose. Not just a safety net but, as she puts it, civic infrastructure. It almost makes me want to work in the field again.

Earlier this week I was moved to listen to "Cult of Personality," the breakout hit that put the band Living Colour on the map way back in 1988. It's still a banger of a song, full of everything I loved about rock & roll back then and still do: crunchy guitar, killer bass line, a rolling thunder of drums. If anything, the lyrics are even more incisive and observant today. In 2018, Ringer writer Alan Siegel dug into the genesis of the song, Living Colour's formation and career, and why "Cult of Personality" still resonates.

Christopher Brown, author of A Natural History of Empty Lots, writes in “An Ofrenda for the Killdeer” about the wildness in edge places, a theme he often explores and which I am beginning to in my own writing. Where I live in Seattle—have lived for 25 years without really noticing, until the art of tracking opened up new ways of seeing—there are all sorts of edge places like this. I’m hoping to explore a few in the coming months.

Pope Leo XIV didn't actually throw a rave, but this is almost as good:

As a cradle Catholic who fell away in my teens, my feelings toward the Church are...complex, to say the least. But I've got to say, as devotional music goes, this knocks CCM right out of the park.

Headed East for Thanksgiving

Nov. 21st, 2025 08:30 pm
canyonwalker: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Travel! (planes trains and automobiles)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
Thanksgiving triplog #1
SFO airport · Fri, 21 Nov 2025. 8:30pm.

Tonight we're headed east for Thanksgiving; to Maryland, Virginia, and Pennsylvania to visit friends and relatives over the coming week. We're at SFO already, awaiting our 9:25pm departure to BWI. Yes, it's a red-eye... and a red-eye was actually our first choice. Partly that's because when flying west to east it's a matter of losing most of a day traveling or having a rough night getting little sleep on a red-eye. We chose losing a night over losing a day. And partly it's because this flight is on Southwest, where I have the Companion Pass that makes flying together cheaper.

And yes, Southwest flies red-eyes now! They started that in the last year or two. It took decades because they literally had to upgrade all their IT to be able to handle the clocks flipping from 23:59 to 00:00 in the middle of a flight. It's like the Y2K problem but it's the D2 (Day 2) problem. 🤣 Oh, but despite upgrading their IT from the 1980s to maybe the 1990s they've still got...

I'll book this Southwest flight... and it's delayed

...The problem of delays snowballing across the day because they continue to plan their schedules hopelessly optimistically like the past 20 years of commercial aviation in the US haven't actually happened.

Fortunately it's just a small delay (so far) and we really don't care this trip. We purposefully booked a nonstop, even as a red-eye, to avoid problems with missing a connection due to delays. And with this red-eye we're scheduled to land at 5:30am. If the flight were even 2 hours late we wouldn't care— except for how long we'd be sitting, bored, in the gate area struggling not to fall asleep before the boarding call!

Well, one thing that worked well this evening was a scheduled ride with Uber. I've been leery of using scheduled rides since a colleague of mine booked one for an early morning airport departure and the driver was late then canceled. He barely made it to the airport on time. But this time the driver was actually early and waited patiently outside.

Hawk at 5 Weeks of Recovery

Nov. 19th, 2025 08:54 pm
canyonwalker: Sullivan, a male golden eagle at UC Davis Raptor Center (Golden Eagle)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
It's been almost 5 weeks since Hawk's foot surgery. She had a check-up with a doctor today. How are things going? Mostly better. A few points:

  • She's still seeing a "substitute" doctor, not the one who did the surgery. The doctor was even careful to point out when she was advising Hawk today, "Well, you're not my patient, but...." The reason for the substitution is Hawk's preferred doctor, the orthopedic specialist she's seen many times over the past 20-ish years and trusts thoroughly, is out with an arm injury right now. That said, she trusts this new doctor pretty well. It's just off-putting (to me) that the doctor who's currently caring for her puts distance between herself and Hawk with that "You're not my patient, but..." refrain when Hawk asks her for guidance.

  • The quibble about "You're not my patient, but..." aside, this doctor is way better than the previous substitute Hawk saw, who was dismissive— to the point of mocking— of her complaints of post-surgical pain and arguably removed her stitches a week too soon, which arguably resulted in an infection at the surgical site, which slowed her healing by at least a week and potentially could have been much worse.

  • Yelp ApprovedHawk made a complaint about that bad doctor to the clinic's admin and also posted a negative review on Yelp. By the next morning the clinic's social media team had responded to her, apologizing for the problem. The admin took a week to respond... and even then only with a brief, form-letter acknowledgement of receiving a complaint. That's a sad illustration of the state of affairs in American medicine.

  • The skin healing over the surgical incision is closed up now, and signs of infection are mostly gone. Hawk's pain levels have decreased— though pain is far from gone.

  • The doctor recommended a lighter wrapping of bandages around the surgical area and showed Hawk the technique after undoing the previous, thicker wrapping and cleaning underneath. The lighter wrapping is easier to maintain and right away lowered Hawk's pain level slightly. We figure it might have been that the thicker bandaging was creating pressure on sensitive nerves.

  • Hawk continues to wear a plastic "boot" around her foot. She's now had it for almost 3 weeks. Her mobility continues to improve every week. I remember the first day she wore the boot she got tired out walking less than 100 yards. Now she can walk a mile or more in a day... though it tires her out to the point of napping for a few hours afterward.


Hawk's next check-up is in 2 weeks. At that point the doctor might recommend replacing the boot, which has a rigid plastic frame that goes almost up to the knee, with a surgical shoe.
canyonwalker: Mr. Moneybags enjoys his wealth (money)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
One of my credit cards has just reached its anniversary, so it's time to check the score on how well I've done with it. This one's the Chase United Business Mileage Plus card, and I've owned it for one year— which means the tally of benefits from the past year should be pretty good, considering the lucrative sign-up bonus.

Now, you might be thinking, "Wait, didn't you used to have two United cards— and canceled both of them?" The answer is Yes and Yes. 😅 In 2022 I opened both personal and business cards with United/Chase and then closed both of them in 2023. But in 2024 and this year I opened both kinds of cards again. Yup, this is the credit card churning that my topic What's in YOUR wallet? is all about.

The United MileagePlus Business Card by Chase (Nov 2025)I opened this card last year under a fairly typical (for this card) offer of 75,000 bonus UA miles after $5,000 of spend in the first 3 months. I hit the spending target easily in the first two months then... didn't quite toss this card in the proverbial sock drawer for the remainder of the year. Instead I kept using it occasionally, taking advantage of various promotions it offered. At the end of 12 months I've charged a total of $6,700 on the card and earned 85,100 points.

Miles & More

At my current valuation of 1.1 cents per point (cpp) for UA miles, my haul of 85,100 miles is worth $936. The annual fee (AF) of $99 was waived the first year so I won't subtract that, but I will subtract the opportunity cost of not charging that $6,700 of spend to one of my 2% cash-back cards. This $134 is the cost of earning these miles. It brings the net win down to a still very respectable $802.

But wait, there's more.

More in this case takes the form of various promotions Chase and United offered on the card. I put them into three groups:

  • The card offered a $100 statement credit after charging 7 purchases of at least $100 at United. This was likely meant to encourage and reward people who regularly buy flights but I found I could game the system by purchasing United TravelBank credits of $100 each in 7 separate transactions. These triggered the reward— which was cash back— plus I had $700 of credits at United that wouldn't expire for 10 years.

    • Partway through my membership year United/Chase changed the above benefit from a $100 statement credit to a bonus of $125 in United TravelBank funds. Changing it from a cash back bonus to a store credit bonus makes it less useful, generally speaking; and especially because the bonus credit expires in just 12 months. But the cool thing was Chase/United double-dipped me. They gave me both the original bonus and the new one for the same set of purchases I made. And I already spent the $125 voucher. So this year the 12 month expiry was not a problem.


  • Along with revamping the purchase credit back in the April/May timeframe, United/Chase added a new benefit to the card: $8/month credit on ride-share purchases of at least $20, with a slightly larger credit of $12 in December. If you max out this credit across the year it's worth $100. I hit it for $48 in the months I had access to it.

  • Chase offers a catalog of merchant specific bonuses, things like "5% back at ABC" or "$5 off one purchase of $25 or more at XYZ". Most of these are at merchants I don't care about, but over the past year there have been at least half a dozen I found worthwhile. I've redeemed cash-back offers worth $28.


There are other categories of credits Chase/United offer on this card but the remainder aren't worth it to me. (For example, there's $25 in United credit on two car rentals with Avis/Budget booked through United, but the rates at United are more expensive than I can get elsewhere with the same car providers.) With the three above, including the one-time double-dip, I nabbed $301 in cash and credits this year.

A Good Haul, But Do I Renew?

Putting the net value of the miles and bonuses together, I've made this card worth just over $1,100 in its first year. That's a solid score. But the question at hand now is Do I renew? It's a tough question because after the first year there's no big pile of miles from a sign-up bonus... oh, and the $99 AF kicks in.

I'm thinking I will renew this card for a second year. The ride-sharing credits, if I can max them out, basically paying back the AF. If I do the 7x$100 purchases again I'll get another $125 credit... though that will be in the form of store credit with United, not cash-back on the credit card. I'll have to decide if I expect to spend that voucher before it expires after 12 months from issue. (The answer is most likely "Yes" but I want to wait until I have more visibility before buying.) Finally, I'll earn a 5,000 mile bonus, worth $55, by having this card together with the United Quest card I opened a few months ago. That bonus will be paid a month or two after the renewal.

Oops, I Did It Again

Nov. 16th, 2025 02:45 pm
canyonwalker: Cheers! (wine tasting)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
Oops, I did it again. I went wine shopping again. Yes, I just went wine shopping yesterday— and bought 6 bottles of wine. That wasn't bad as it brought my collection to just 51 bottles, a completely reasonable number compared to what I owned in years past.  But today I went wine shopping again— and bought another 6 bottles. 😅

Wine shopping... for the second time in two days (Nov 2025)

The impetus for going shopping again and buying wine again was that I still had my "Buy 6, get 20% off" coupon. It was supposed to be a single use coupon, but the Total Wine store I shopped at yesterday screwed it up. They didn't apply the coupon correctly. And since they gave me a runaround when I tried to use the coupon— and another runarounds when I politely asked them to correct their mistake— I decided, screw 'em I'll use it again. Yup, it's revenge shopping! 🤣

How did I pick 6 more wines today when I picked 6 just yesterday? I mean, it's not really exciting to think, "Oh, look, it's my 7th through 12th favorite wines!" Nor is it fulfilling to think, "Oh, boy, another copy of favorites #1-6!" I made today's shopping different by taking a different approach to my selections.

Yesterday I bought 6 wines that a) were brands I enjoyed before and wanted to add back to my collection or b) filled gaps in my collection where a variety, like zinfandel, was running low.

Today I took the approach of picking wines from my list of "Hmm, I'd like to try that sometime." I think of it as having a wine tasting at home. And some of those wines, like the two Pinot Noirs on the left have been on that list for several years! I guess I was always waiting for them to go on sale or something. And, well, today's revenge sale was the buying signal I needed.

canyonwalker: Cheers! (wine tasting)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
Today I went wine shopping. I bought 6 bottles because the store had a buy-6-get-20%-off sale going. As I slotted those bottles away into my shelf at home today I counted the total: I have 51 bottles of wine.

51 bottles is a good thing. ...Not because it's a lot but because it's a little! Years ago I had 100+ bottles in my collection, a situation I've referred to, jokingly, since then as "my drinking problem". The joke is that my problem is I buy wine faster than I drink it! (One of my friends pithily observed, "Really what you have is a shopping problem.")

Even with buying 6 bottles because there was a sale today— which comes after buying 3 last weekend when there was a different sale 😅— the new tally of 51 in my wine collection is actually less than earlier this year. In March I had 55... and I considered even that a good thing. I'm keeping my drinking shopping problem under control.

Back in March I also wrote about my hard liquor collection being a bit out of control. I've been working to tame it. Since then I've barely bought anything new, and I've been making a point of finishing off bottles that are close to empty. ...Not by saying, "Eh, only 4 shots left, bottoms up!" but by choosing, when I feel like enjoying a drink, liquor that's almost gone. I mean, why keep around lots of bottles with only a few shots left when I already have too many different bottles. I've knocked out two (mostly empty) bottles in the past month this way.

Home from Austin

Nov. 14th, 2025 11:57 am
canyonwalker: Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. Travel! (planes trains and automobiles)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
Texas Trip log #7
Back home · Thu, 13 Nov 2025. 9pm.

I'm back home now after a two-day trip to Austin, Texas. My previous blog, written at Austin's airport, may look like it's from just 4 hours ago, but it's from 6 hours ago because of the time change. Yeah, it was a long day already when I left. Now it's longer. What's happened since then? Well....

I'll book this Southwest flight... and it's delayed

Yup, my flight was delayed. We boarded 10 minutes late, then it slipped to 20-25 minutes late by the time we actually departed.

On the plus side, Hawk's personal schedule for the day was running late, too, so she offered to pick me up at the airport in San Jose and go out to dinner together. The flight landed at 7:30, and I was in our car headed to dinner by 7:42.

On the flight I wasn't sure I'd have enough energy for dinner. It was late, it was a long day, and I thought I might just want to go home to bed. But being able to stand up and walk, breathe non-recycled air, and seeing Hawk again help perk me up.

As we drove off from the airport we discussed where to go for dinner. Hawk suggested Giovanni's, a favorite local pizza place. I countered with "How about something bland?" since I felt I'd had too much rich food the past few days. Then as we talked through it I realized that "bland" would be something like Denny's (ugh; already had it this year) I decided a pizza would be bland enough for me. 🤣

Now we're back home. I've unpacked my suitcase and I'm winding down for the evening. Actually I'm not just winding down I'm shutting down. I don't have mental bandwidth for anything else tonight. And as I look at what is on my calendar for tomorrow I see it's going to be an absolutely packed day, starting with a meeting at 7am.  It's just as well my meeting in San Antonio went remote (instead of in-person) and I had deftly booked alternate plans to fly home tonight. Well, at least by going to bed now it shouldn't hurt so much when I have to get up at 6:15am and start another full day.

Meetings Galore in Austin

Nov. 13th, 2025 09:22 pm
canyonwalker: wiseguy (Default)
[personal profile] canyonwalker
Texas Trip log #6
AUS Airport · Thu, 13 Nov 2025. 4:45pm.

It has been a busy day for me with meetings galore in Austin.

My day started with a morning alarm at 6:15. I had to get ready for the day, pack my suitcase, and be downstairs for an informal meeting at 7:30am. Luckily it was informal as I fell behind schedule— I got sucked into reading too many work emails early this morning— as I didn't get downstairs until 7:40.

Then there was an 8:30 meeting at a prospective customer's office. We were annoyingly late for that, too. When we started leaving the hotel at 7:50, maps said we'd be there by 8:20. By 7:05, as we sat in traffic, our arrival time had slipped out to 8:25, then 8:30, then 8:40. Fortunately it all worked out as it was a very productive meeting. And the customer was understanding of our tardiness as some of them arrived late because of the same bad traffic (there was an accident in a construction zone).

Later in the morning I took a meeting from a picnic table on the edge of a parking lot outside a beer bar.As I've remarked many times, working remotely isn't just "Work From Home", it's work from anywhere you can set out a computer and get a network signal!

After that I took a meeting inside the bar. It was with a customer who'd picked the bar. Though oddly I was the only one (of the six of us total) who drank beer. I drank sparingly. Then after the customer left and it was just me and my sales colleague, I hit the bottle harder. 🤣

From lunch I headed over to the airport with a stop back at the hotel to drop off my colleague and pick up my suitcase. Here at AUS I cleared security surprisingly fast considering how busy the airport is. I bought a soda as a pretext for sitting at a table in one of the food court areas then conducted two more meetings sitting in the airport food court.

Now it's rolling up on 5pm and I consider myself done for the day. I've been working since before 6am, and I've still got at least 4 more hours to go before I get home tonight.

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